Let鈥檚 be honest. The first responder job encourages a one income household.
- Unpredictable Hours: Working as a is a huge challenge because a their schedules are so unpredictable. Yeah, sure, their shift says that they get off at a certain time but we learn very quickly what that really means. As a police spouse you might hear 鈥淚鈥檒l be late, I鈥檓 not sure when I鈥檓 coming home.鈥� Maybe there鈥檚 been a critical incident and you get 鈥淚鈥檓 not sure when they will even let us leave.鈥� As a you鈥檙e counting on them returning home after two days gone to share the household responsibilities and you get a call鈥� I鈥檝e been forced back.鈥� Or maybe the call, 鈥淲e were sent out on a strike team in the middle of the night and we鈥檙e halfway to L.A., I鈥檓 not sure when I鈥檒l be back鈥� knowing it could be up to 2 weeks. I鈥檝e been there!
- Responsibilities with kids: I make the joke that prior to kids my first response to a strike team call out was 鈥淒o you have snacks? Do you have clothes? Call me as soon as you can!鈥� With a kid now, my response is closer to鈥� a pause and a long 鈥淥kaaaaay鈥濃�� and my thoughts are racing thinking now everything he was responsible for is my problem. What鈥檚 running through my head is that I have 2 hours before work to figure out what I need to cancel, rearrange, and/or get someone else to cover in our next 2 weeks. Sometimes extended family can fill in these gaps, which we are very grateful to be able to utilize.
- Good Income: Not to mention that overtime is often times mandatory or easily accessible to make up for unexpected expenses. Like so many other first responder families you think it鈥檚 just easier if I stay home and you just work O.T. to fill in the gaps.鈥� You share this decision with so many other families in a similar situation.
Having the option to stay home with your kids is awesome! Making this decision out of pure excitement is one thing. Making it 鈥渂ecause it just makes sense鈥� is another. If you have your own passions and visions of a job or a hobby, maybe a specific degree in something you enjoy, or have the thing you keep putting off for 鈥渙ne day鈥濃�� listen up. I鈥檓 going to ask you to rethink the decision for the following reasons.
- Not as helpful as we think: In these scenarios I think staying home full time and putting your dreams on hold has the potential to actually take away from your family (hear me out). What I mean is that we鈥檙e happier people when we feel fulfilled. Not that staying home with our kids isn鈥檛 fulfilling, but if you personally have a dream of a life balanced out with something else, then finding that will absolutely benefit your kids and your marriage.
- Your happiness is worth more: Please, don鈥檛 get stuck on, 鈥淚 make as much as daycare would cost so it wouldn鈥檛 even be worth it.鈥� Of course it would be worth it! Even if you make exactly what daycare costs! I鈥檓 not looking at just numbers here. That鈥檚 silly because we鈥檙e human beings with real emotions and stress. Having something that feeds us emotionally is worth more than a number.
- How it may positively impact the rest of your life: We鈥檙e happier! This means we combat stress and depression and we鈥檙e likely to have stronger relationships. We model positive coping skills for our kids and have more tolerance for the stress parenting brings on. We feel less resentful in our marriage and toward the job first responders love so much and spend so much time at. This all has an extremely positive domino effect on our lives. So don鈥檛 wait!
What I am suggesting is that if there is a job or a hobby you desire please go out and find it! The same applies even if it鈥檚 not a passion exactly but you鈥檙e feeling like you could just use a little more balance in your life. Guilt free! Because ultimately, it鈥檚 going to benefit your family and .
